From First Base to Rape

In response to an article by Teresa Jusino:

What Aziz Ansari’s “Apology” Says About How Men View Their Encounters With Women

https://www.themarysue.com/aziz-ansari-apology/

This is a very interesting article, because it deals with first base that unfortunately some men take to mean home run. Even at my age and after all I have experienced, even saying “take it slow”, “I really like you, but lets wait til we get to know each other better”, “let’s go to couples counseling before going further,” things can still go too fast. Even if you say “not now”, the very thing you do not want, is what you get. Then you are stuck with trying to transform this violation into a relationship. But in reality, it was a violation. It will always feel like a violation. No matter how much you like the person, no matter how pleasurable, it was still against your wishes…. and can never give you a real relationship.

What do we as women have to do before our feelings wishes intentions are heard and respected? Obviously keeping women covered from head to toe does not make things better. Why does kissing, dancing, affection, a conversation, an energetic connection or attraction, a glass of wine or a beer, a glass of water, give a man the right to TAKE what could eventually be offered with love, integrity and consciousness? Why is this behavior accepted tolerated and yet not discussed? Why are people looking forward to movies where this scene is played out over and over but not addressed in society? Why are rapists in public office? Making movies? Running planetariums and talking about the Cosmos on television? Because we live in a #rapeculture . Because the average person is addicted to violence and enjoys the privilege of convenience that comes about due to the suffering of others. Because the average spiritually enslaved person is so jaded, so disconnected from Spirit that they are able to block out the pain of their global family members. Do we need to take a witness or a referee when we decide to be alone with a man?

Basically, we go against ourselves in that moment out of fear of what that boy will do if you actually punch him or kick him or just keep saying no. He could get angry, or stop talking to you altogether. If he is not hearing you, then maybe you go along with it so that he will stop HARASSING you, or might you get raped, or end up dead. Sometimes after reporting rape, especially if it was by a celebrity, it gets much worse and you end up dead at the hands of authorities trying to keep you silent like #MistyUpham. Or maybe you just accept a glass of water, with no interest in sex or affection, and because you have been rendered unconscious, are not even in a position where you can say, ” No way in hell do I want to have sex with you. You are ugly and gross. Do not touch me.”

I want you to see that it only takes one second to go from “Not Tonite” to DEAD ON ARRIVAL, because we cannot control men once the monster in them has been activated. This is what needs to change, from birth, we need to raise boys to be Actual Men, not predators. But these days, sexual predators control every aspect of the game in this rape culture. For Women, there is nowhere to run. Fortunately in this day and time, for Rapists and Sexual Predators, there is nowhere to hide either.

For more info,

End the Silence, End the Violence Chapter 6: Austin, Texas 1983-1984: I Survived RAPE by Neil de Grasse Tyson; The Blue Lotus Speaks!

https://tchiya.wordpress.com/2014/10/08/end-the-silence-end-the-violence-chapter-6-austin-texas-1983-1984-the-blue-lotus-speaks/

The Blue Lotus Speaks Chapter 5: OBERLIN FUCKING COLLEGE

https://tchiya.wordpress.com/2014/08/08/the-blue-lotus-speaks-chapter-5-oberlin-fucking-college/

The Blue Lotus Speaks: END THE SILENCE, END THE VIOLENCE

https://tchiya.wordpress.com/the-blue-lotus-speaks-end-the-silence-end-the-violence/

Tchiya Amet El Maat

Who is the Blue Lotus and why does she speak? The Blue Lotus is the Collective Consciousness of All the Sadness and Sense of Loss from The Womb that holds the memories and stories of My Bloodline and all of My Past Lives. It is the Voice of ALL Wombs that know violation. She is Speaking because she can no longer carry the pain and it must be released. This Voice, This Song must be heard. She sings in Ancient Tongues and Languages. She brings Healing and Consciousness that becomes the Oneness. Hotep

The Blue Lotus Speaks Chapter 5: OBERLIN FUCKING COLLEGE!!!!

Here is the letter I recently sent to Oberlin College….

FUCK YOU PROFESSOR WEINSTOCK, DR. PALMIERI. DEAN WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS. ALL OF YOU ARE GOING DOWN. THIS IS SIRIUS RISING!

THIS ONE IS FOR GRACE AUSTIN AND HER FAMILY. THANK YOU SAKARA FOR SUGGESTING I WRITE A LETTER TO THE INSTITUTION. OBAMA IS NEXT….

 

GOING TO OBERLIN WAS LIKE BEING AT A FULL TIME ORGEY. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES. FACULTY, STAFF, STUDENTS. ALL OF YOU WERE SICK THEN AND I HEAR IT IS EVEN WORSE NOW…..

 

 

July 5, 2014

OFFICE OF EQUITY CONCERNS

Sexual Assault task Force:
Office of Equity Concerns
Service Building
173 W. Lorain St., Room 201
Oberlin, OH 44074

To Whom It May Concern at Oberlin College:

This is a Statement of Impact on the Life of Staci Alison Hambric Vela, who at one time in her life, was

an undergraduate student there, from 1979 until 1983.

When I arrived at Oberlin, I was still a very sheltered young woman. By the time I left, my self

confidence had been destroyed, and I had a distrust of men that I had no idea how to even begin to

describe. It is hard to recall the good things about my years there, and one day, I pray that they are

more important to me than the events I am about to describe for you…..

One day during my sophomore year, a freshman student that was from South Africa, cornered me in

my room, wanting to have his way with me. I was still very much virgin, and really had no idea what

was actually happening. I chased him out of my room with an umbrella. I went to the Dean of

Students to make a report. He told me not to say anything about this. The student would be sent back

to his country and be stoned or else he would be exiled and never allowed to see his family again.

LIke a good girl, I did what I was told and remained silent. This horrible guidance haunts me to this

day. Set me on a journey of self hatred, low self esteem, and inability to speak up for myself.

The second event of sexual harassment involved a professor in the Physics department. Prof.

Weinstock. I was having a difficult time in his class, so private tutoring sessions were scheduled.This

was a series of incidents, progressing first with him wanting to molest me, then next session to kiss

me, then for me to kiss him. I ran out of his office after this third and final visit. I was worried because

I needed his class to graduate with my degree. The department head at that time, Joe Palmieri, in my

mind, is just as evil as the perpetrator, because I know that he has covered up for this man before. He

told me that Prof. Weinstock was about to retire, it would ruin up his reputation, and “it would kill his

poor wife Betty”. He cared not how this would ruin my life. I did nothing wrong. I wanted to do well in

my class. It was arranged so that I could take the class during a summer session at the University of

Chicago. It wasn’t the math, because when I took the same class at U of Chicago during the summer,

that professor couldn’t see what the trouble was. I wish that I had transferred to U of C then instead of

finishing at Oberlin! LOL!

When I experienced sexual assault at the hands of a student and sexual molestation from a professor
that I was getting tutoring from, I report these incidents to the Dean of Students as well as the Physics

Department chairman at the time, Joseph  Palmieri. BOTH TIMES, I WAS INSTRUCTED TO REMAIN

SILENT BECAUSE IT WOULD RUIN THEIR LIVES AND KILL HIS POOR WIFE BETTY.

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? MY LIFE WAS RUINED.

Do you recall the murder that took place on the campus in 1983? Grace Austin; Sean Culmer. They

were both good friends of mine. I was the last person to speak with both of them before the event. My

photograph from earlier that night was crucial proof of pre-meditated murder. I had to go back to

Oberlin, during midterms at UT, for the murder trail. He killed her because she broke up with him.

These three events defined my years at Oberlin. Unfortunately, they shaped and affected my life for

the next 31 years. There was no counseling offered, no support whatsoever. Even though these

events were 31 years ago, because they were left unresolved, it still feels like it just happened. In

some ways, I have been stuck there…. I am fighting to get past this moment in time…

And so I am writing to you today  to inform you of the impact these incidents have had on my life. Which is

my right as a survivor of sexual harassment, assault and abuse. From what I have gathered, it is wise

that I did NOT go to the police or any campus office that was supposedly there to protect me.

From what I have read, things have not gotten better at Oberlin, they are worse.

They are worse because now there are systems in place to help victims, but it appears they are t

here to protect the perpetrators, especially when their family donates 1 million dollars for a new jazz building.

Ironically, Oberlin was the first private institution of higher learning to admit and graduate both blacks and women. And now, it has the third most sexual assault cases on campus.

When I arrived at UT Austin, the sexual abuse/harassment/assault worsened. I will say that I feel the

treatment that I received while a student at Oberlin set me up for a pattern that would replay itself

throughout my life, until I finally started to get help with PTSD in 2006.

After I withdrew from grad school, I attracted a horrible partner that eventually beat me up pretty

badly. I filed a report, but these events have left huge emotional scars.

Now, the years of doing nothing have caught up to me. I had no idea about the physio and

psychological affects these things can have on one’s body and emotional state. I projected my anger

onto my innocent husband, and after 20 years of marriage, we separated, and are now divorced. He

refuses to pay me the settlement that he offered, agreed to, and even signed for. My oldest daughter

has not spoken to me in 4 years, angered by the fact that she had to endure my undiagnosed PTSD

for her entire life. There, that is my sob story in a nutshell. Perhaps these events did lead to my

withdrawal the first time. I never really thought about it until a few years ago. I could not understand

why I was so unhappy when I was living my dream of having a family, playing music, staying at home

with my children.

I have been wanting to speak out for almost a decide now, since I realized I that I am a trauma

survivor, but have also been living with fear and shame. I cannot live like this any longer. Especially

now that this topic is everywhere in the news. Even Barack Obama, the President of the United States, is addressing sexual assault and harassment on college campuses. I want to see to it somehow that even people like myself, that take years or even decades to heal, can receive support from the community. There was no support

for me then, and there is no real support for me now. One of the perpetrators from my grad school days is now a pubic figure now, and this is another reason I am speaking out: to protect the world from such an evil being. It is

also the reason that it has taken me so long But he is in the  media daily now, and so I am triggered daily as well.

Camille Hamlin Allen serves as a cover up agent for the filth that continues to occur on campus.

When I was graduating, there was a murder on campus, and I received no counseling, no help,

just a plane ticket to the murder trial during my first midterms at grad school. All of these things happened at same time;  and Oberlin College FAILED.

Launching a task force is a great idea and smart political move, but what about the women and men,

that have already been affected? where is there an offer to pay for much needed counseling? financial

support while putting together the pieces of ones life while healing? My life was completely shattered by these

events, and I am here to hold YOU accountable for your actions as well as for your lack of actions.

Peace, Justice, and Truth

Tchiya Amet El Maat, aka, Staci Alison Hambric-Vela